Trying to dip my toes in the mirror

07:29



Hi, I've just discovered something (I use the term 'discover' loosely). Once you get out of a habit, it's hard to pick it back up. True facts. I've always known this though, I am the self-proclaimed queen of picking up and dropping habits. I mean, I can't say that my sporadic attempts at blogging were particularly habituous, but they were some more of an effort that can be said right now, and it's also been so easy to turn a blind eye to this little thing. Lately the whole rigmarole of school, work, uni applications, etc etc etc, have sucked every bit of life out of me. Sleep? What's that? A life, you say? Haven't heard of it, sorry. Every waking minute of my life doesn't have to revolve around my future/university? LIES. It's become monotonous and I have become numb to life. Mind you, I'm not complaining. The fact the end is so clearly in sight is making this mindless zombie, a mindless zombie with somewhat of a purpose.



..........................................

Before I get into any sort of reflective thoughts on 2015, I bring you an outfit.

These days I rarely leave the sartorial comfort of the leggings/oversized jumper combo, but when the occasion calls for it, I try to put my best foot forward. I wore this for a lunch date with my family and a friend of ours. 

top - my sister's
culottes - dorothy perkins
jacket -  thrifted 
It was Christmas last week (Merry belated Christmas) and I finally got the 1461 DM's that have been the main star of my sartorial dreams. 

socks - gifted (*whispers* thank you, elizabeth)
shoes - dr. martens

............................................

To attempt to reflect on 2015 would be overwhelming as that what this year was. It was overwhelming and not entirely enjoyable. Everything happened in such a short space of time that to name anything would just stir up a plethora of emotions that I don't feel like stirring up. In saying all that, I have learned a few things in 2015.

I learned that everything happens for a reason. I learned that you might not get it when you were going through w/ever your going through, but that you'll eventually be able to stand back and say, "oooooh, I get it now". This was especially true for me this year. Numerous things, circumstantial and/or coincidental, happened to me this year, and at the time I know that everything was so magnified and UGH, but now I feel like a 70-something y/o grandmother looking back at those times. I feel distant from them, as if they were world away. It's a good feeling. Like, yea I went through that, but I learned and I grew. I want to continue that growing process in 2016.

I learned that disconnecting is good and somewhat necessary. Taking a moment to shut off and step back was part of my 'self-love' process. Getting so caught up in social media is emotionally draining. It soon became evident that I couldn't differentiate between what I genuinely loved or what my real opinions were because they were so influenced by what everyone else loved and thought. I needed that time to understand myself. That's what I plan to do a lot more of in 2016.

Those were two major things that characterized 2015 for me. This year went by so quick, but I'm so ready for 2016. I graduate secondary school and start university in 2016. I will also (hopefully) finally see my best friend of 13-ish years for the first time in 6+ years this upcoming year. I also turn 18 this year! 2016 is going to be major.

Also in 2016 I plan to start my own zine!! Surprise! All year I've been desperate to do something and the idea of starting my own zine has been a thing for, like, ever now, so I've decided to Nike 'Just Do It'. I sort of just want to create a space for, but not restricted to, Irish young people to share their work and connect because I know that I'm always excited to find young people around me who love to create and who have opinions and are woke, etc., so I want to create a collective of young Irish people who are passionate about what they do and who wanna stir shit up, ya feel? I've called this zine, LÜMINANCE ZINE, and you can check out our Instagram to keep up to date.

In closing, I want to thank each and every one of you for putting up with my much perceived lack of devotion and constant sporadicness with my blog. I love you all. Every single one of you who has hopped onto my lil corner on the internet, I appreciate you. Like, a lot. Your consistently nice comments are my foundation. They never fail to make my day.

I will leave you with a playlist of some of my favourite songs from a few of my favourite albums and artists of 2015.



See you in 2016.


*lyric in title - Lianne La Havas - Green & Gold

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28 comments

  1. thrifted shirts are the bomb-diggity! Also, that playlist is so cool! I love almost every song on it!

    WonderGoth

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  2. what better way to end the year than with this post? firstly, you outfit (as always) is killer and secondly welcome to the docs club!! i know exactly what you mean about the future, it's irritating that our lives have to orientate around education when a lot of the time it makes us question our existence. i am super pumped for luminance zine, man i love teen collectives!! happy new year victory x

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    Replies
    1. it is SO tedious, right? like, yo, can I breathe without feeling like I ~have~ to worry about the future pls & thank u x x x thank you x10, suzie, all the love! X

      Delete
  3. ahhh! i love this outfit and this post!!
    i hope your 2016 is filled with lots of love, happiness, adventure and art! and i hope your university applications and your last year of high school are going well!
    also, i'm hella hella excited for lüminance zine, it sounds like such a great idea!!
    happy new year!!

    lost--at-sea.blogspot.ca

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    Replies
    1. i've thoroughly missed your comments celine!! thank you!! much love! X

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  4. Loving the outfit, and your plans for 2k16 sound amazing! <3 <3

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  5. happy new year victory! i love your outfit, hooray for docs! i hope you have the fabbiest 2016 x

    http://daisychainsforever.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Replies
    1. thank you so much, bethany!! sending you all my loveeeee! <3 X

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  6. Ahh, happy 2016! :) xoxo

    www.thelittleenigma.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. thank you, lydia! hope your 2016 is filled with much love and good vibezZz! X

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  7. Love your outfit and hope you have an amazing 2016! Also I cant wait to see your zine!

    basicallyzaynab.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. thank you SO much, man! sending you all the love for 2016! X

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  8. aw these reflection posts are awesome and your jacket is kILLAH I LOVE IT SO MUCH!!!!! i kind of wish i did a new years post or something but whatever i'll weave my thoughts in another post haha!! this was great though and once again AMAZING JACKET

    - themellowpeach.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. duuuude, thank you SO much!! <3 <3 <3

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  9. love this song! have an absolutely wonderful new year. i'm also starting university in 2016-- it's so wild. I'm so excited to see your zine <3

    Claire
    www.augustlikethemonth.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. it's crazy bc, I mean, I still feel 12?? good luck with finishing school and starting uni and everything this year, claire! all the love! X

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  10. cannot WAIT for your zine victory. also I so feel you about college, turning 18, and all of that big kid/adult hooplah. as weird as it is, it's so exciting. ahh wishing you the loveliest 2016!!! xx

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    Replies
    1. THANK YOU, kaylee!! 'growing up' is such a strange mix of every single emotion, man! Hope your 2016 is as magical and amazing as you!! Loveeee you! X

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  11. Love this outfit! Happy new year!
    xx Alyssa
    visionsofnyc.blogspot.com

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, Alyssa! All the love! X

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  12. Thank you so much for this post - I have no idea what I did to deserve such an amazing read, but I'm glad I stumbled upon this when I needed it the most. I'm so proud of what you've achieved, and I'm sure you'll ace 2016 and create more posts that make my chest feel all fuzzy. AND YOU'RE SO BEAUTIFUL MAN. Happy new year!

    Andrea | Collars and Bones

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    Replies
    1. this is the NICEST comment ever, I am like crying right now because comments like this are what I live for! I hope 2016 is SO good to you, man, I LOVE YOU.

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  13. School can be such a drag, especially if it's pulling you away from life, but what can you do!?!? Outfit is (as always) so cute!!! And I so agree with the whole leggings/oversize stuff mood, that has been me basically everyday since I'm on break. It's good..and bad because then I can't get my creative juices flowing (fashion wise)!!!! OOO, and yes (!!) actually realizing how much you have grown is so fun because you just have this huge realization and it's kind of a relief, y'know? Also, disconnecting from social media is definitely on my list to do this year as well, I think it'll help my brain relax and create more. AHHH!!! I cannot be more excited to read your zine, I know it's going to be so awesome!!!!! Last thought: that playlist..so good. Let's hope for a fantastic 2016!

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    Replies
    1. it's SO hard to be super posi about finishing school and the future and all that jazz when you're faced with a barrage of work now!! 'I Will Survive' is the background song for my life rn. ALSO, yes, I SO feel you re: the lack of flowing creative juices due to the seemingly perpetual desire to live in potato sacks and leggings! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Joss!! Love you! X

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  14. Cool pants :)
    BLOG M&MFASHIONBITES : http://mmfashionbites.blogspot.gr/
    Maria V.

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♡ thank uUu for taking the time to comment, I read and appreciate every single one of them! ♡

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